Goodbye Darius

Went to airport to send this guy/gal off. He's going London for 4 yrs.. I think I will try to miss him. Shared the same primary school and secondary school(never in the same class though) but was ten long years. Actually it isn't that long and is amazing to see one another grow up and him becoming more hip and funky. From Montfort to VS and BB, he has always been smarter but i am more manly(LOLx). We are going to play mahjong without you unless you want to play over webcam. Have fun celebrating your 21st birthday there(nxt yr) and just soak yourself in the brit culture yeah. Study hard, lose your vir******(u know wat i mean..) and play hard. Take care bro and do webcam/msn.. Regards..

Tiny Dancer

Listening to old stuff these days, they still touched me as how they touched my uncles. Dave Grohl covered "Tiny Dancer" and through him I remembered Almost Famous. I cant help but give it a regular place in my ipod. Same goes for blackbird. Caught the premiere of I am Sam, Mel asked me to find the OST, and rediscovered "Black Bird". Previously heard the original and Phish cover, but Sarah Mclachlan version's gave it purity. Finish reading 'War Trash' today, starting another book('Waiting) by Ha-Jin tomorrow. I find comfort in reading his books, not like I can relate to i(war stories) but rather when I read his books, I can be focused. I need to be focused and move towards goals I really want. I want to be focused in so many areas which makes it an oxymoron but the analogy is simple; just wanna be a lightbulb that spreads the light around all areas, I want to be like that. Played piano for awhile, then played around with the fretboard for another, really enjoy the freedom I gained from playing/writing music. Music is the perfect tool to spread love.

Someone told me today that "they are very good friends".
I said "at least yours end with a comma, mine ended with a full-stop."

I can't seem to express my thoughts through writing these days..

Brain/heart clogged.

Pictures from Maad, taken from my phone:

How to save a life-The Fray

Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it’s just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
And you begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you’ve told him all along
And pray to God he hears you

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you’ve followed
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he’ll say he’s just not the same
And you’ll begin to wonder why you came

As Days Go By

Days are passing by fast. Real quick I guess, very soon Christmas will be here, soon New Year will be here, soon exams will be here and soon year 2 beckons. I thought of the next few months and I begin to feel I could not grasp hold of time and cannot fathom issues that are happening around me because it just slips away the moment I try to understand. It is going to be 2 months since school started, been trying to mug, struggling for the focus. School has been alright, making new friends, learning new stuff and knowing you. Maybe the reason why I think time passed by fast was because I was spending time with you or even having you on my mind(when i don't see you).But now, I am hoping my memories would just be like grabbing sand with my hands, just letting the sand slip as I let go bit by bit, bit by bit.It is better to let go now, rather than letting the wound deepens, rather than letting a gun point to my head. One thing I am sure, for the days without you, time will drag. but i am already attempting to empty my heart, before it overflows.

Pictures of Welfare BBQ-020906

Sense of Relief

I don't know at all. I think I can throw in the towel on something that, right now(I can't say about the future), doesn't seems to reciprocate. I think is better off that the situation remains as it is. Besides, it will be too overcrowded if I still insist. I don't know man, I am not sure what kind of emotions I am having now, I do feel sad, but I also feel relieved. I am going through an emo phase of my life now, but now that everything's pretty sure(for me), I will break out of this emo shell, break the shackles, and live life..

PS:This might be the last of my emo entries currently.

Bought another Ha-Jin book from Kino on Friday.At Taka Art-Friend, had so much ideas how to do up my room!(Goth Flavour)Wanted to get Running with Sisscors by Augesten Burroughs. Taking my 1st driving test on thursday(desperately need to pass), friends, pls pray for me

Little Pleasures

Reading: War Trash by Ha Jin, a book about all kinds of suffering mankind goes through in a war, though inevitable, the suffering and the war.

Listening: The Kooks, Jack's Mannequin, Gym Class Heroes, Muddy Waters, Jimmy Cliff, The Automatics, All-American Rejects, Underoath, Postal Service, hellogoodbye,
As Tall As Lions, The Providence

Watching: No time for TV. But caught I am Sam on Sat TV. It was striking, hit my
heart really hard, had some revelations and realised essential elements that is slowly losing its importance in our society today.

Truth Hurts

I hate to hear the truth. But I need to know. Desperately! I am so mixed and misguided right now, I don't know how should I think. My thoughts are just really random, bombarding and getting wayward. I really hope to end this ambiguity. I dislike uncertainties. And you are definitely not helping, I am sure it made things worse. Not coping too well with it.Is either you or me who is going to say, I reckoned is me. I just got to devise a escape route if it turns out as expected.

Promise

My promise to you,

He gave me broad shoulders, broad enough for you to cuddle in when you are scared
He gave me strong hands, for you to hang on when you struggle
He gave me listening ears, for you to pour out your woes and joy
He gave me a heart, for me to feel what you feel
He gave me a mind, for me to understand your thoughts
He gave me you, so that I can learn what love is about
He love me first so that I can give you love

Whatever you are going through right now, you are not alone. You know that He will always be there for you. I will also be there for you, anytime. He will be there to guide you, stir you. I will be there to listen and to encourage. Even though we are not in union yet, I am ready to stick it through. My love for you is nothing if He doesn't love us first. And the fact is ,He loves me and He loves you.

Somewhere only we know

Oh simple thing where have you gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin
So if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
Somewhere only we know?
Somewhere only we know?

Rainy Posts

Was hoping to blog when it was still rainy. How I love showers in the night, it just strike the emo chord in you and you just start strumming.
The rain has stopped.
I am struggling, with everything. But i am struggling because of you.
The other things are just surrounding me, you are in me.
I need to let you know, I want to know
With a compass in our hands, I need to know where is the needle pointing.
Even if I have a direction, is lonely not to walk with you, very lonely.
I need a revelation and a definition. Soon

Crocodile Hunter Hunted, An Aussie Legacy

It was sudden! Got home after work, switched on my tv, caught a glimpse of the news. And accurately, caught the news that steve irwin-crocodile hunter had passed away. A bloody stingray pierced his heart. It was sad, real sad. I was anguished, but more shocked. It just came. Read the news article on the papers the next day, a sense of disappointment lingers. I thought of the accent, how we used to say, " I'm Steve Irwin, Crocodile Hunter" in that forced Aussie accent accompanied by the action of grabbing the crocs' tail. *with Grief*

Doubt

I like it when I am with you, when we talk about everything, when we do things together, I just love your presence.
I hate it when you talk to me about someone else, I try hard not to show, I try even harder to carry on the topic.
I really hate it when I don't hear from you even for a day, often escaping into dreamland, wondering.
I want to me more than just friends, I think you feel what I want. I need to know what you want.
I don't know when I should say, I am afraid of what might happen, I am ready to wait but I do not want it to be another empty
Maybe if you read this, maybe you will know what I mean.

Rad Maid

Was watching channel u the other day. It had a program on Sun Tzu's Art of War. Guess what, saw my neighbour's maid and her on television. They live directly above my apartment, was pretty amazed. Haha, how rad rite? A maid who lives in your estate appears on television. Maids these days... lol