How to feel?

How are older brothers suppose to feel when your young brother goes away for a trip?

watashi wa endless wants

I want to study really hard and get very good grades
I want to lose alot of weight till no one recognises
I want my Class 2b licence
I want a Vespa GT200 after i get my licence
I want a pair of good headphones(AKG,Koss or Grado)
I want my own synths
I want a new messenger bag(crumpler or manhattan portage)
I want a new backpack
I want a J Fold wallet
I want a new DVD player
I want a new camera/smart phone
I want a pair of blades
I want an electric amp
I want a new watch
I want a bicycle
I want a Polaroid
I want a new digicam
I want to play gigs

For now, these are what I want, not much actually right?
is late at night when Josh goes dreaming again....
I only have till Oct.

I wanna come back to.....

i want to come back to You
is no use just feeling
i need to show it
But i can't do this alone
only the Spirit can pull me through
i am pulling down the walls
the walls that hindered
i am jaded
i need to come before you broken and bend
For i know in You i can find solace
in You i trust
By Faith, i m saved
Through Grace, i live
i need to remember this feeling
and may this be a promise to You
I want to come back
and by fait

Spiritual not religious

" I don't think I'm religious, but I do say that I'm spiritual- there's a difference. Religious people are into your do's and don'ts. I'm not really into that. I do believe in God, the things in the Bible. To me, it's not solely about doing what's right or wrong- it's just being true and honouring God with your life. I don't profess to be doing the right thing all the time but, by His grace, I try to..."
- Joscelin Yeo

I seriously reckon what she thinks. I think like that too.

not playing

So... we won't be playing this Sat

you happy now ? or beyond expression?
you can gloat till you choke

The rest who reads
stop being a satellite
you know who you are

F**king Fuming

I don't use expletives when I blog.
But right now I am fuming and I need to emphasize
The steam in me is finding hard to contain
So I need to let it out

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK you
you are just a fucking bitch
Nobody will symphatize you
Nobody, maybe when you pay them
or you cry at their feet
But nobody cares
Dun spread things which he didn't do
The issue is not on him only now,
but the rest of us
But guess what, we still have one another
you will be lonely beside yourself
soothing your pathetic soul
but nobody knows
cuz no one cares

So stop saying things that are not true
just shut up, lead your own life and
FORGET ABT IT!
its a blessing you got kick out of the community.
Goodness

Selfish Singaporeans

Had supper with the boys last night at the usual area, heard an event that just happened not long ago from nabil which made me deeply ashamed and extremely aghast of my people living in this country.

Here the true event goes: A lady had a handphone shop at Plaza Singapura. So one recent weekend, a Blangadeshi foreign worker walked into the shop, saw the display handset and stole it from the shop, not knowing is a dummy. The lady, and her shop assistant saw the Blanga taking away a handphone from the shop, thus giving chase not knowing that is just a display set. The thief, instead of running out of the mall, went up the escalators, while the two continue to give chase. The shoplady, while chasing, was shouting, "Handphone thief! Handphone thief!", definitely caught the attention of everyone, but everyone just continue looking, wondering(not sure what are they wondering about, maybe thinking the lady is crazy.) Due to it being a weekend, the mall was packed, it did slow down the thief by a bit, but NO ONE actually do something to apprehend the person even though with a few guys, the Blanga will be easily pinned down. Then as the Blanga continue to run away, he chose to run down the escalators. The lady and the assistant carried on chasing, but she missed her steps, tripped, and fell down the escalators. Her head had a collision with the steps, unconscious and blood was gushing out. People nearby were seen filming the incident with their cameraphones. Ambulance came, and with the life support, she managed to preserve her life, but the impact of the collision was so powerful that her brain became dead.

My issues are:

Why didn't the passersby stopped the Blanga in the first place? There were so many people, they could have done with ease. Or are Singaporeans just 'bo chap' because they are afraid of future obligations like witnessing, or even recording their statements.

The 2nd issue was that if people were so curious and can record the whole incident with their phones, why can't they use the phones to call the cops? Now the most humane thing to do for these people is to hand over the video to the authorities for investigation, rather then posting it on Youtube for heartless purposes.

Where is the camaraderie among human beings these days, shouldn't we come together and emit evil? What is shocking about those who were there is that they act as if is none of their business and i believe that the guilt of knowing what happened to the lady will be a scar in their heartless lives. And maybe then, the heartless will spill away.

Disclaimer: The narration of the event is purely by word-of-mouth, over 3rd degree friends.

I saw her again

I saw chantel yesterday again.
I was sure she saw me too
And it made my heart skip a beat
Literally
Blood sped all over my body
everywhere I was red
Nervousness overcame me
Some form of disorder
I just had to leave, for disruption
even if I wanted to stay

Opportunity came for twice now
I still believe in fate

wasted

I just wasted my day today.
Sitting around doing nothing
beside my PSP
Just wanna blog about it.

Right now,
is just dimlights, loneliness, acoustic music, alcohol and emoness
not really that emo, but is coming
or forcing it to come

Enough is enough!

Food

I swear by Discovery Channel and Living. People close to me knows that I love Jamie Oliver shows, who cares whether they are repeated, I just don't mind watching it over and over again. Besides Jamie, I love Anthony Bourdain too. His food travelling is just so interesting where he scours Asia for food that normally the white people don't eat. But besides all about food, his shows tap into the culture of different societies and how what they eat reflect who they are. The most interesting part that made me want to blog about him is that in modern times, there has constantly been a culture switching fever fueled by curiosity(at least for the non-pragmatics). Tony(for short) seems so amazed by the indigenious and out-of-world ingredients eat and gives it full praise while us Asians are baffled with the effort put in to create a whole dining experience rather then just the food alone, like taking small steps at a time to attain the true nirvana. Nevertheless, travel or not, I learnt so much from reading and watching travelogues and I am so glad to be in Singapore, where multi cultures cross, where with an open mind and heart you learn about other people and most importantly try all kinds of food here.