Lean Pork Peanut Soup

Felt like having soup for lunch, love having Cantonese style soups but also home-cooked Teochew dishes. Decided to make a simple one, lean pork with peanut soup, turns out quite ok, comparable to the ones granny/mum made. And all the ingredients were purely conceptualised by me, they didnt teach me anything at all!

Confession

Confession was difficult
Tormented by voices within
Holding you, pushing you
Before the jury
that belittles the dauntless you
Not that it matters
the eternal judge has lay the verdict
Not that it was essential
But it's leaking!
Not to be pardoned
But to be understood
If i knew what I was expected to know
Perhaps....

"And i don't want the world to see me, cause i don't think that they understand
Whatever meant to be broken, i just want You to know who i am"

Around you all

In the car, after dinner, the other day

Dad asked, "why am I not around those people anymore, is there some misunderstanding?" I didnt give a direct answer, revolving around 'working together'. It was one of the reasons, but think the main reason was I am not comfortable around them anymore.(Maybe wasn't at all, but always compromised). I guessed I had a different set of expectations when I faced them, something which diverts from others. So when they seem like the same, i felt edgy, felt like everytime they speak or act, I lay the verdict. Perhaps I am the screwed up 2/many faces bastard that behaves according to the situation, but that is my proudest survival skill. I think I expect the same from them. Not being real? I disagree because values can't change and so, I am uncomfortable because of contrasting values and looking issues at opposite angles. But will still try, like before.

Thanks

I can't help but thank you enough. Thanks

Pick Up Lines

-YOU pick me up when i was down-

No matter what is the outcome... As Pandora's box opens on Mon
i know YOU will be there, i want YOU to be there
"no, that is not a command, but i am begging YOU, please!"

Often i wonder, or i really feel, that i took YOU for granted
treating free grace as an instant, largely insignificant antidote
when i need IT, i beg for it, desperately and demand immediate recovery
but most of the time, i deemed happy around the worldly 'grace'
something that i THOUGHT is adequate

Perhaps after this period, or many similar situations to come
i might still treat YOUR GRACE as dirt cheap
but please draw me close to YOU
through the WORD and PRAYERS
as i struggle, and suffer in YOUR NAME
so my eyes will be bright enough to see
the true value of YOUR GRACE
and my faith and life exhibit YOUR SALVATION.
for the struggle of YOUR kingdom

as YOUR WORD in psalms 139 reminds me....
that, Lord, YOU are there
i know YOU are